I really appreciate this. I don't understand how so many people can go on with their lives, pretending that the past few years didn't exist; thankfully, my wife & I were together through it all but our larger-extended family is permanently broken. Our world-war veterans fought for nothing but the planned-mechanized slaughter of tens-of-millions of our European brothers (& sisters) and I don't buy the 20th-century narrative anymore.
Thank you for writing about the on-going residual effects of what we've been through and continue to experience. I had a wonderful cry the other day. I hadn't been able to cry in years and I knew the tears were building inside me, but I couldn't reach them. Then, in the waiting room of an employment counselling service, the tears began to flow down my face. During my appointment, the lovely counsellor gave me the space to cry. She said it was an essential part of my process. I felt acknowledged.
We were lucky enough to get essential worker visas to the US - chose Florida - in Nov. 2021. We imported both our cars and drove separately. I had to pull over soon after I crossed with my newly stamped visa because I was literally shaking and crying almost uncontrollably with relief once we 'escaped' Canada. It's PTSD. We have lived completely normally since Nov 2021, and our neighbours and friends here had 3 months of interrupted life - which is too much - but the shock of coming from 'C19 Canada' to Florida normal was actually overwhelming for the first couple months- it's PTSD. We had a few opportunities prior to C19 to immigrate to the US, but we declined as super proud Canadians. We are no longer proud of Canada, and we have no plans to return.
There is definitely PTSD. I am not vaccinated, but have thyroid and blood pressure issues. COVID wiped the floor with me, although I wasn't hospitalized. Ended up with extreme inflammation and anxiety and depression off the scales. After a year with a functional medicine doctor, finally making my way back a bit. I don't trust doctors anymore. I research everything and, of course, find conflicting opinions. I'm not sure of any medical decision, and regular doctors only check blood and tell me I'm fine. They kept trying to prescribe antidepressants when I told them I was FINE until COVID, then I fell off the mental wall. Talk about gaslighting.
I am up and down, hot and cold, trying to regain love for the universe and my place in it, but most of the time I feel crippling fear for the future and, like you, mourning the past when I was confident, headstrong, sassy and fearless with a great job. (I was an Army civilian, retired early to avoid the vax. It just felt NOT RIGHT.). Sure, I had some bad days, but they seemed temporary. These bad days. . . are more, if you know what I mean. I am trying to listen to every bit of Eckhart Tolle and the Power of Now. It keeps me from stressing about the future and mourning the past - when I remember how to do it. ;) Thank you for writing this!
Those who do not react to abnormality are psychos in need of a diagnosis for they do not think, sense, or feel. You are human and humane. The people who thrive in solitary isolation at the expense of others are nonhuman.
“When I meet new people my first thought is — which side of the C-19 divide were you on? It matters to me more than it probably should. “
Trish I feel this in my bones.
So many people I thought were kind, compassionate, intelligent humans said horrific things about people who didn’t get the 💉
I’m already a bit of a lone wolf and this just made it worse. I have quietly unfriended, unfollowed so many people.
I have 0 desire to make new friends or business connections unless I know where they stand.
I’m still not ok, we aren’t ok and anyone who is just ‘over it’ regardless of which side they were on is fooling themselves.
Humanity in countries who had lockdowns is Traumatized and some of us more than others but if people are just ‘moving on’ unless they have had a bunch of therapy are just spiritually bypassing.
Let the tears come, feel the fear and find comfort where you can is the advice tell myself… you are not alone 🥺
This is a great personal analysis. I think for us lone wolves maybe it is a bit harder. I learend fellowship through AA and Church but it is not my natural state. Hang in .....we are finding each other and will rebuild.
I've been trying to do more in person gatherings, but it's never quite satisfying, because I know that some 88% of the new humans I'm seeing, and most of my previous humans, would have have easily jailed me for not performing their medical hypochondria.
I find meeting new humans under these conditions jarring.
In the corner of my windshield, I still display the pin: "I'm sorry you were lied to", and honestly, most humans who I get past "hi" with, I find many of them hated the entire fiasco and felt it all unnecessary, and many others, hated the fiasco, but felt it was necessary, and then there are those who just go with whatever flow. They infuriate me the most!
I keep thinking of how folks in Germany came back to "normal" after the Holocaust. I've heard that mostly people just lied about their opinions/behaviours, and everyone just accepted the lies and moved on. I can't even imagine what that would have been like.
Imagine if we could all hang out in a living room, to share food, chat, and support one another? This comment section feels like an amazing community gathering.
Trish, you are a light. Thank you for everything you've done for us over the past few years. Your podcasts have kept me grounded and inspired when I have been drowning in murky, depressed waters. I wish you could hang out and consult with us privately. It would be amazing to chat with you sometime. Sending you lots of love from Vancouver. Keep strong and make sure to do more self care You deserve delight and novelty in your days too. ♡♡
Thank you for your honesty. We’ve lost what wars have been fought to gain; government “by the people, for the people”. That is lost no matter how normal we pretend things are now. You mention “ruling elites” but I’m not sure they are responsible for this. They’ve tried power grabs many times before and the public ignored it, recent examples being swine flu, mers and sars. The hardest part for me was witnessing how easily the people threw away their life-giving community connections this time. The betrayal feels like it comes from the very community we need to feel human. The scariest thing for me now is how ready everyone seems to accept being told what to do because they’re tired of the responsibility that comes with rights.
The sad truth is there are many that feel like what you feel, but do not have the courage to speak their truth. Our society has taught us from a very young age to follow rules- and so, despite having questions and delaying it as long as possible and mostly because I was mandated to take them by my employer (Federal Government) I took 2 shots. I ended up with a lump in the armpit of the arm where I received the second shot, it has gone down somewhat, but is a constant reminder as to what is inside me and whether it will rise up its’ evil head in some form. I am now a retired RCMP officer, who questions the actions of my former employer with regard to enforcement of Covid measures including actions in the Freedom Convoy, Coutts arrests and so much more. I agree that life will never be the same.
Thank you for sharing this Trish. Your words and the beautifully written comments make it very clear that I am not alone in my grief for the loss of what once was. Life will never be the same again for me. Some days it us difficult to get up, dress up and show up. My circle is so much smaller than it was and, mostly, I'm glad that it is. My immediate family doesn't see or believe what I do about what is going on in our world. I often wish that I could be as oblivious as they seem to be.
To keep informed, I look forward to your podcasts, essays and posts on X because I trust that you'll lead me to truth.
I have followed you since the early days of the panic. While I don't always immediately agree with you, I have appreciated your honesty, humiility, & insight. I have been concerned about your PTSD distress, but am glad to hear your interview with Martin Kulldorff and return to the serenity prayer. That you thought to refrain from your pitch on Good Friday tells me your humility in intact. You know the way - Let go and let God. Happy Easter.
Thank you Trish for your transparency. I remember meeting you in April 2021 at the CNO Nurses Protest in Toronto. It was my first ever protest! You chatted with us and gave me your business card. I recognized you from CBC TV and mistakenly thought that mainstream media had finally come to their senses and recognized the injustices of the previous year. Boy was I wrong!
After over 50 years as a working nurse - I was the only employee of 43 at Southdown Institute to raise any alarms and refuse the experimental jab! They fired me after working for them for over 21 years! I have been in a legal battle since then - asking only for a fair severance. I have lost faith in our judicial, government, medical, legal, religious and education systems. The story is the same around the world.
There is now estrangement in our family and friendships as we mark B-C and Post-C. I thank God that my dear husband and our son are united in this battle. We are always looking for like-minded members of our tribe. I have become a podcast junkie - eagerly waiting for new interviews to affirm my sanity.
This is a Spiritual Battle. I am now aware of evil as never before in my 74 years. I have been unsuccessful at “waking any others up”. What happened to critical thinking & common sense? I hardly recognize myself these days - irritable and strangely anxious about trivial issues that wouldn’t have concerned me years ago.
I do believe we were all crested “for such a time as this” and I pray for grace and courage to navigate the unknown future. Trish, God is using you to courageously proclaim and reflect Truth.
God has entrusted us with insights in this perilous dark time. We know that God wins!
I quote from Matthew 13:16-17. As our Lord said: “Blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears, for they hear. Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.”
Blessings to you and your family. (Janet Grills RN)
Trish, thank you for this and for your podcast. I have a laptop class job so I was not harmed by covid lockdowns and rules as much as many were. But the west is clearly in danger now from authoritarian governments. I'm not sure we will recover.
I'll be going on a family vacation with my mother, my brother, and one of my cousins next week. I guess the conversation will be limited to the weather and where we will be having our next meal, because none of us is a sports fan and we certainly can't talk about politics or medicine. I did rent a Tesla for the long drive to meet the family, so that should be fun.
I really appreciate this. I don't understand how so many people can go on with their lives, pretending that the past few years didn't exist; thankfully, my wife & I were together through it all but our larger-extended family is permanently broken. Our world-war veterans fought for nothing but the planned-mechanized slaughter of tens-of-millions of our European brothers (& sisters) and I don't buy the 20th-century narrative anymore.
Thank you for writing about the on-going residual effects of what we've been through and continue to experience. I had a wonderful cry the other day. I hadn't been able to cry in years and I knew the tears were building inside me, but I couldn't reach them. Then, in the waiting room of an employment counselling service, the tears began to flow down my face. During my appointment, the lovely counsellor gave me the space to cry. She said it was an essential part of my process. I felt acknowledged.
We were lucky enough to get essential worker visas to the US - chose Florida - in Nov. 2021. We imported both our cars and drove separately. I had to pull over soon after I crossed with my newly stamped visa because I was literally shaking and crying almost uncontrollably with relief once we 'escaped' Canada. It's PTSD. We have lived completely normally since Nov 2021, and our neighbours and friends here had 3 months of interrupted life - which is too much - but the shock of coming from 'C19 Canada' to Florida normal was actually overwhelming for the first couple months- it's PTSD. We had a few opportunities prior to C19 to immigrate to the US, but we declined as super proud Canadians. We are no longer proud of Canada, and we have no plans to return.
There is definitely PTSD. I am not vaccinated, but have thyroid and blood pressure issues. COVID wiped the floor with me, although I wasn't hospitalized. Ended up with extreme inflammation and anxiety and depression off the scales. After a year with a functional medicine doctor, finally making my way back a bit. I don't trust doctors anymore. I research everything and, of course, find conflicting opinions. I'm not sure of any medical decision, and regular doctors only check blood and tell me I'm fine. They kept trying to prescribe antidepressants when I told them I was FINE until COVID, then I fell off the mental wall. Talk about gaslighting.
I am up and down, hot and cold, trying to regain love for the universe and my place in it, but most of the time I feel crippling fear for the future and, like you, mourning the past when I was confident, headstrong, sassy and fearless with a great job. (I was an Army civilian, retired early to avoid the vax. It just felt NOT RIGHT.). Sure, I had some bad days, but they seemed temporary. These bad days. . . are more, if you know what I mean. I am trying to listen to every bit of Eckhart Tolle and the Power of Now. It keeps me from stressing about the future and mourning the past - when I remember how to do it. ;) Thank you for writing this!
You are normal, healthy, whole, and holy.
Those who do not react to abnormality are psychos in need of a diagnosis for they do not think, sense, or feel. You are human and humane. The people who thrive in solitary isolation at the expense of others are nonhuman.
“When I meet new people my first thought is — which side of the C-19 divide were you on? It matters to me more than it probably should. “
Trish I feel this in my bones.
So many people I thought were kind, compassionate, intelligent humans said horrific things about people who didn’t get the 💉
I’m already a bit of a lone wolf and this just made it worse. I have quietly unfriended, unfollowed so many people.
I have 0 desire to make new friends or business connections unless I know where they stand.
I’m still not ok, we aren’t ok and anyone who is just ‘over it’ regardless of which side they were on is fooling themselves.
Humanity in countries who had lockdowns is Traumatized and some of us more than others but if people are just ‘moving on’ unless they have had a bunch of therapy are just spiritually bypassing.
Let the tears come, feel the fear and find comfort where you can is the advice tell myself… you are not alone 🥺
This is a great personal analysis. I think for us lone wolves maybe it is a bit harder. I learend fellowship through AA and Church but it is not my natural state. Hang in .....we are finding each other and will rebuild.
💜
I've been trying to do more in person gatherings, but it's never quite satisfying, because I know that some 88% of the new humans I'm seeing, and most of my previous humans, would have have easily jailed me for not performing their medical hypochondria.
I find meeting new humans under these conditions jarring.
In the corner of my windshield, I still display the pin: "I'm sorry you were lied to", and honestly, most humans who I get past "hi" with, I find many of them hated the entire fiasco and felt it all unnecessary, and many others, hated the fiasco, but felt it was necessary, and then there are those who just go with whatever flow. They infuriate me the most!
I'm sorry you were lied to is a great slogan. I'm sure I will use it. Thanks for your kind words.
I keep thinking of how folks in Germany came back to "normal" after the Holocaust. I've heard that mostly people just lied about their opinions/behaviours, and everyone just accepted the lies and moved on. I can't even imagine what that would have been like.
Imagine if we could all hang out in a living room, to share food, chat, and support one another? This comment section feels like an amazing community gathering.
Trish, you are a light. Thank you for everything you've done for us over the past few years. Your podcasts have kept me grounded and inspired when I have been drowning in murky, depressed waters. I wish you could hang out and consult with us privately. It would be amazing to chat with you sometime. Sending you lots of love from Vancouver. Keep strong and make sure to do more self care You deserve delight and novelty in your days too. ♡♡
Thank you for your honesty. We’ve lost what wars have been fought to gain; government “by the people, for the people”. That is lost no matter how normal we pretend things are now. You mention “ruling elites” but I’m not sure they are responsible for this. They’ve tried power grabs many times before and the public ignored it, recent examples being swine flu, mers and sars. The hardest part for me was witnessing how easily the people threw away their life-giving community connections this time. The betrayal feels like it comes from the very community we need to feel human. The scariest thing for me now is how ready everyone seems to accept being told what to do because they’re tired of the responsibility that comes with rights.
Hey Trish! More info re: carbs and blood sugar etc.
https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2024/04/02/consequences-of-low-carb-diets.aspx?ui=b90c020464631d0221154d9206993cfb5598fb3ec20a4a404cb5e0ad9e19a9a6&sd=20240304&cid_source=dnl&cid_medium=email&cid_content=art1HL&cid=20240402&foDate=false&mid=DM1551602&rid=2085703044
BTW, you look amazing! Be kind to yourself.
The sad truth is there are many that feel like what you feel, but do not have the courage to speak their truth. Our society has taught us from a very young age to follow rules- and so, despite having questions and delaying it as long as possible and mostly because I was mandated to take them by my employer (Federal Government) I took 2 shots. I ended up with a lump in the armpit of the arm where I received the second shot, it has gone down somewhat, but is a constant reminder as to what is inside me and whether it will rise up its’ evil head in some form. I am now a retired RCMP officer, who questions the actions of my former employer with regard to enforcement of Covid measures including actions in the Freedom Convoy, Coutts arrests and so much more. I agree that life will never be the same.
Thank you for sharing this Trish. Your words and the beautifully written comments make it very clear that I am not alone in my grief for the loss of what once was. Life will never be the same again for me. Some days it us difficult to get up, dress up and show up. My circle is so much smaller than it was and, mostly, I'm glad that it is. My immediate family doesn't see or believe what I do about what is going on in our world. I often wish that I could be as oblivious as they seem to be.
To keep informed, I look forward to your podcasts, essays and posts on X because I trust that you'll lead me to truth.
So grateful for you. ❤️
I have followed you since the early days of the panic. While I don't always immediately agree with you, I have appreciated your honesty, humiility, & insight. I have been concerned about your PTSD distress, but am glad to hear your interview with Martin Kulldorff and return to the serenity prayer. That you thought to refrain from your pitch on Good Friday tells me your humility in intact. You know the way - Let go and let God. Happy Easter.
Thank you Trish for your transparency. I remember meeting you in April 2021 at the CNO Nurses Protest in Toronto. It was my first ever protest! You chatted with us and gave me your business card. I recognized you from CBC TV and mistakenly thought that mainstream media had finally come to their senses and recognized the injustices of the previous year. Boy was I wrong!
After over 50 years as a working nurse - I was the only employee of 43 at Southdown Institute to raise any alarms and refuse the experimental jab! They fired me after working for them for over 21 years! I have been in a legal battle since then - asking only for a fair severance. I have lost faith in our judicial, government, medical, legal, religious and education systems. The story is the same around the world.
There is now estrangement in our family and friendships as we mark B-C and Post-C. I thank God that my dear husband and our son are united in this battle. We are always looking for like-minded members of our tribe. I have become a podcast junkie - eagerly waiting for new interviews to affirm my sanity.
This is a Spiritual Battle. I am now aware of evil as never before in my 74 years. I have been unsuccessful at “waking any others up”. What happened to critical thinking & common sense? I hardly recognize myself these days - irritable and strangely anxious about trivial issues that wouldn’t have concerned me years ago.
I do believe we were all crested “for such a time as this” and I pray for grace and courage to navigate the unknown future. Trish, God is using you to courageously proclaim and reflect Truth.
God has entrusted us with insights in this perilous dark time. We know that God wins!
I quote from Matthew 13:16-17. As our Lord said: “Blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears, for they hear. Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.”
Blessings to you and your family. (Janet Grills RN)
This made me cry, I feel this deeply as my Mom was killed in the hospital due to convid protocols. My journey resembles yours. 💜
Trish, thank you for this and for your podcast. I have a laptop class job so I was not harmed by covid lockdowns and rules as much as many were. But the west is clearly in danger now from authoritarian governments. I'm not sure we will recover.
I'll be going on a family vacation with my mother, my brother, and one of my cousins next week. I guess the conversation will be limited to the weather and where we will be having our next meal, because none of us is a sports fan and we certainly can't talk about politics or medicine. I did rent a Tesla for the long drive to meet the family, so that should be fun.